Thoughts for today (from The Sun magazine):

I don't know why I read the paper. One sad story only follows ten others. But today's LA Times had a story that made the normal sad stories seem like mild complaints. This story, Seeking Child's Love, a Child's Life is Lost, by Barry Siegel, was so sad, so unbelievable that it made me want to believe I was reading a piece of fiction.

It is the story of ten-year-old Candace Newmaker, a child who with held affection to and manipulated her relationship with her mother. Or so the mother interpretted. Frustrated with her daughter's lack of eye contact and affection, perhaps feeling out of control with Candace's dominant personality, Jeane Newmaker saught psychological treatment for her daughter, though none of it seemed to work.

So she turned to the internet and the controversial diagnosis of R.A.D. (reactive attachment disorder), which often plagues children once in abusive situations who are placed with adoptive parents later in childhood. Newmaker found console and identification with the other parents in the internet support and information groups and soon learned about an alternative treatment for RAD in Colorado.

The story documents Candace's controversial treatment and subsequent death at the hands of her therapists and mother.

Although I do not know enough about the situation to have an educated opinion, I couldn't help, while reading this article, but wonder if the mother was seeking love and sought that love through adoption. I wonder if the mother's desperation for a loving bond with a child actually drove the child away. I wonder if the mother's insistance or smothering were the real problem's here, not Candace's acting-out behavior.

That being said, reading the treatment inflicted on these children sent a sick shiver down my spine and through my veins. I dare you to read this article and put yourself into the children's shoes as they go through the humiliating procedures.

The entire treatment seems to be based on breaking the will of the child, humiliating the child, even tearing down the child's inherent self-boundaries in order to force parental domination.

It is amazing to me that such treatment is allowed in the United States. I realize that I do not know first hand the frustrations these parents experience with their difficult children. Still, I wouldn't inflict this kind of treatment on my dog, much less my child.

It's torture in America folks. And it's killed a child.

Read the article.

m.
If you feel the need to read a different view point on childrearing, please read For Your Own Good by Alice Miller. Perhaps we should send a copy to the therapists in the Candace Newmaker article.

Read an article about Alice Miller.
Get info on For Your Own Good.

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