the vet called this morning. the urine and blood work showed she had graves disease (this is a thyroid thing) and in early kidney failure. which explained the dramatic weight loss (she lost 1/3 body weight!). if we treated the graves it would intensify the kidney failure. the vet recommended euthanasia. i was filled with utter sadness and some relief.

because clara was spending a couple days at the vets, i got off early and went to spend some last moments with her. we sat for an hour. she was just plain exhausted.

animal care people are amazing. some of the nicest people i know. i don't know if my feelings of them judging me last month were real or imagined. probably exaggerated by my feelings of insecurity around making a life-death decision. but today two different people (a nurse and a vet) came in to sit with me and tell me they thought i was making the right decision.

i had told my mom what was happening today, but didn't ask her to come. but at 10 til 4 there was a knock on the door and my mom came in to sit with me through the final moments and to say good by to little clara jean bones jones (the latest name modification, tho she often opted for the simplifed naming convention of "cat").

poor little kitty girl. i figure that in kitty heaven she'll gain 10 pounds and regrow those front claws. hummingbirds everywhere better watch out.

i'm donating all things clara (litter box and kitty food and brush and et ceteras) to the animal shelter. ;) that makes me feel better.